Playing with purpose

I’ve always felt like my mission in this life is to find my purpose. To search for that meaning that would make me feel like I was where I needed to be.

But lately I’ve come to realise that this way of approaching purpose actually keeps me in the searching loop forever. In the last months, I believe, “My Purpose” (as grand it sounds), invited me to become deeply aware of myself. To simply notice what I actually need. Not what the purpose needs from me, but what I need from my self, you know?

I’ve learned that purpose is much more of an internal process than an external search for validation—which is something I’ve often mistaken it for. “If I just find my purpose and live it I will finally feel at peace and like I am worthy” - has been one of those stories.

I was so caught up in asking“What is my purpose?” that I kinda forgot to observe; how am I being? And now, that question feels far more potent, real and also much more fulfilling! It doesn’t require me to become something, but just asks to notice the me that I already AM being.

When I turn inward and tune into what I feel drawn to, what I love to do, things become clearer. I’ve come to realise that doing things that I love, is my way of living my purpose. And again, then the purpose itself becomes secondary and the awareness of myself and my needs and dreams becomes actually much more important and fun to explore!

I haven’t always been able to accept this as enough though. I’ve been so busy searching for my purpose, seeking some form of confirmation or validation, that I didn’t fully see what was already happening. All along, I have been working toward my purpose by giving myself time and space to do the things I love. By organizing my life in a way that allows more room for what nourishes me:

Creating. Taking care of myself. Having deep conversations. Tuning into my heart. Learning to help others do the same.

It has been there all along. This was never something I needed to find. I didn’t need to search for it. It has been within me all the time.

But for some reason I needed to spend time in the ego loop of purpose obsession to come to this realisation. Its already within me. And Ive already been “doing” my purpose for a long time. When I prioritize important things to me; purpose! When I choose things that nourish me instead of deplete me; purpose! When I face my negative patterns and beliefs and have difficult conversations with myself or with others; purpose! Maybe I had put the consept of purpose on such a big pedestal that I forgot that living life as myself, is my purpose!

Maybe the final step in truly claiming my purpose is giving myself permission to do so—to integrate all these actions, insights, soul sparkles, and dreams into the life I am already living. To allow them to be my purpose.

Because I notice there has been a kind of emptiness created by the search itself—a gap where I was still looking for something more, something else, in the name of purpose. But I understand now that I don’t need to look anymore. Purpose has… found me? By me letting it find me!

It found me when I gave myself space. When I allowed time. When I softened enough to feel into what I genuinely loved doing.

In many ways, this realisation is very simple. And yet, from experience, I know it hasn’t felt simple at all. It almost felt too simple—almost annoyingly straightforward. I carried so many complicated ideas and inner blockages that made trusting this difficult.

The real work, it turns out, has been trusting that what I’m doing is enough. That these things are not leading toward my purpose—they are my purpose. I’ve been circling it, looping around it, even while it was right there in front of my eyes. But maybe that, too, was part of the journey.

What I see now is that it doesn’t have to be so complicated. At some point, we are invited to stop preparing and actually live the purpose life we’ve been moving toward. To recognise that it’s here. That it has arrived. That it lives within us.

The path continues to evolve, of course. I believe that our purpose evolves with us. But the question is, can it truly evolve if we don’t allow ourselves to claim where we are right now? If we don’t say yes to the purpose we are already living?

I see this pattern often on the spiritual path as well. The task is rarely about finding new answers. More often, it’s about letting ourselves be exactly where we are—and allowing the answers to come to us.

My task, again and again, is to relax into the knowing that I am held, that I am safe, that I am guided. And from that place, everything else can emerge.

When we are driven to find something, determined to reach something, we often forget this. Yet it turns out to be the most essential piece—the one that brings everything home.

What I am now realising is that, often we are much further than we think. The missing link is not effort, but permission. Permission to live it. To be it. To let go of the constant search, and to use that energy in the life itself—in the work, the creativity, the love, the presence.

Letting our purpose find us instead of pushing it further away by searching, looking and fixing…

Let’s give ourselves and our purposes space to unfold and to give ourselves permission to follow the sparkles of our souls instead of searching for answers in the external world. Maybe that is the way to see - true purpose opens within the heart—and the path to the heart is compassion, gentleness, and trust.

So… Letting my purpose find me is actually about trusting that I’ve been on the right path all along. And that, makes my shoulders drop quite a lot and my breath feel deeper. Thank you, Universe, for reminding me that who I am is already enough. Even for my purpose. ;)

💓 Maija